Too broke to blog

Yup.

When I fix it, regular posts will be back.

I hate everything

It's gotten to the point where I'm being mean to my best friends and family. I can't think straight. I hope I can sleep tonight and get up tomorrow to put on my fake happy mask.

Sick of feeling guilty...

...every time I spend a dollar. I'm going to see what I can do with the $100 I put online to play poker. Those who don't know me would think I was stupid to do this rather than put off a bill and pay a late fee later, but this was how I made $20 an hour playing 10 hours a week in 2003-2006. Poker used to be fun. Maybe it will be again someday. But this is work. 100% work. These days, I'm not happy. Excuse me if you happen to catch me in a shitty mood. It's likely.

Another negative post

So mad right now. An embarrassing professional moment that reminded me how broke I am. I'm going to break down if this keeps up.

Blah

I spent $15 this weekend. I really really really really hate the fact that half of it was on $1 double cheeseburgers to change it up from ramen and spaghetti. So sick.

So I was pretty pissed off last post and may have said some things that I couldn't realistically adhere to... basically, I had a productive and fun weekend for $15, but it came with the help of people that wanted me out enough to help me out -- and I'm thankful for that. I only hope that once I turn my current shit situation around that I can pay them back.

Upon thinking about how I got myself into this situation, I realized a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm active and need to be out doing something. Rollerblading 16 miles as I did on Friday isn't free. Gas, food for energy, maintenance of equipment, washing the extra clothes, etc. It all adds up. And when I do that 7 days a week, it really adds up. If I sat on my ass and watched DVDs or played video games, it would be a different story. But it isn't.

I wonder how many negative mood posts this is in a row?

"24" Day 1 recap

It sucked, I wasn't happy, and then a tragic event occurs.

It's going to continue to suck, I'm going to continue to be unhappy, and now there's a tragic event for the state to get over.

Until I successfully make a change for the better, it can be assumed I'll be in a bad mood. I'm so pissed.

F*ck it

I've gotten to what I would call rock bottom, financially. So, I'm dropping everything I can.

Car, likely gone. Along with the insurance. I hope I can get rid of it. Then I get a beater, and will drive it to work everyday to show everyone how well I'm doing.

Cable, gone.

Drinking, gone until August 24th for camping. That's 3 weekends inbetween. For me, that's a lot. It won't be easy. I hope I don't get irritable.

During my "24" of no drinking, I will either rollerblade, play hockey, play softball, or work out every day. That shouldn't be too hard.

Fast food, mostly gone -- I will allow 2 lunches out to eat with work people weekly, and nothing else.

Besides the 3 cans in my fridge, no more Red Bull during my "24" streak, just green tea.

Air conditioning, off. That bill adds up!

I may have to eat like semi-crap. Is SPAM any good? Where is the ramen aisle?

That 1% I'm still putting into my 401k? Ha, that's gonna stop. I need those pennies. Sad.

Is there anything I can sell?

Can I break my lease somehow and move in somewhere cheaper?

I am so sick of thinking about money.

If giving up a good portion of the things that make me happy can't change this f-ing situation, well, I don't know what I'll do then.

This is gonna suck.